The Art of Hosting

iT GOES WITHOUT saying that hosting is an art. The French have a phrase for it: l’art de recevoir, which

literally translates to “the art of welcome.” More than just setting up a table, it involves meticulous and detailed planning to entertain guests (and oneself, too).

I have been most fortunate to grow up in a family that loves gatherings. Since my childhood in the Philippines, I have been surrounded by gracious hosts and hostesses—parents, grandparents, family friends, and everything in between. I was brought up tasting hearty home-cooked meals and sat at beautifully set tables for holidays. Whatever the occasion, whether it’s a simple supper, a casual dinner party, or a large holiday celebration, my family always makes an effort.

A dear friend of mine shared with me that my ultimate talent is “to bring people together.” It is an art. Attending hotel school and living in France years later not only formalized my understanding of this delicate craft, but also further elevated it by layering on a knowledge of impeccable service, creating a whole experience for those who gather around the table.

Below, I share my secret ingredients for a triumphant dinner as you host for the holidays.

GUEST LISTS AND INVITATIONS

When I imagine how I want the night to be, I carefully create a list of guests. It’s a good idea to mix old and new friends, which creates an opportunity where everyone can meet new people. Of course, you’re looking to include your nearest and dearest but also invite guests who

would add a different point of view to any conversation. I always go by this saying from Steve Rubell, who co-founded the eponymous Studio 54 with Ian Schrager: “The key to a good party is filling a room with guests more interesting than you.” 

As for invitations, I like sending them weeks in advance. Parties are notoriously high voltage during this season, and you want your friends and family to plan ahead and secure the date. Be clear with date, time, location, and dress code. You can be a little mischievous by adding teasers or quotes, allowing for more excitement and anticipation. Be sure to request an RSVP, as receiving an invitation is both a privilege and an obligation.

SETTING THE TABLE

Laying the table has practically become a sport in this day and age. For me, the most significant aspect is that your table should reflect your own personal style. My aesthetics and taste have changed over the years, and they continue to evolve, but I always love a classic spread—one that’s timeless with an eclectic flair. I prefer some drama but not without humor. 

I draw inspiration from memorable experiences in some of the world’s grandest dining rooms—from Le Louis XV in Monte Carlo, Plaza Athénée in Paris, and Claridge’s in London to Raffles Hotel in Singapore. With a bit of imagination, you can transport your guests to a destination. Don’t be afraid to mix and match. I enjoy combining heirloom pieces with the new as well as layering different textures, such as crystal and silver. I am a self-confessed maximalist, hence there is a tendency for sculptural tablescapes where ‘more is more.’

For example, for centerpieces, I like combining fresh fruits with the beautiful florals by Winston Flowers. Laura Cousineau, owner of Upstairs Downstairs along Charles Street, loves to use her grandparents’ china (she has a set from each grandmother) so she can entertain from the same dinnerware she enjoyed holiday meals on as a child. This connection between gatherings across time and place adds not only a point for conversation but a depth to the occasion.

ATMOSPHERE

A very important element is the ambience. Many people tend to complicate achieving the perfect atmosphere. The easiest basis is possibly leaning on four out of your five senses: sight, smell, sound, and touch. The room should be a feast for the eyes. Consider the lighting on and around the table. Candles are a theatrical way to illuminate a room— use candlesticks or votives that create a festive glow and reflections.

Whether it’s the smell of the wood-burning fireplace or the fragrance of the room perfume, scent also plays a major role in dinner parties and certainly touches everybody’s mood. I like to accent a room with the various objets d’arts I collect, including my blue Indian peacock taxidermy perched at the bar. Accessories provide an element of richness and a little surprise. Ensure your holiday playlist is tuned in before the first guests arrive. 

Depending on your theme, it should complement the ambience and never disrupt any of the evening’s conversations. My piano at home makes it easy to play Christmas tunes post-dinner (or perhaps an impromptu sing-along after a couple of bottles of Champagne). I interpret the fourth sense—touch—here as the general feeling. Everything must be warm, seamless and balanced throughout, making every guest relaxed and at ease.

FOOD AND DRINKS

Of course, the fifth sense is taste. There’s nothing better than a relaxed host in his or her element. The secret for this is mise en place, another French term that means everything in its place. Preparation leading up to the date of your event is key. However, if you can’t imagine cooking your own Christmas meal or you’re busy attending other parties, days prior, takeaway from the neighborhood restaurants is always a great alternative option. Last year, I ordered my Thanksgiving turkey from the Raffles Hotel (my workplace), and it came with all the delightful trimmings, including an out-of-this-world apple pie. One of my favorite restaurants in Boston, Mistral, offers its excellent menu as to-go options as well.

Above all, nothing else makes your guests feel more relaxed and at home than a drink in their hand. I like to assemble a self-serve bar so guests can blend and pour their own libation of choice: an easy spritz, gin and tonic, or negroni with an accoutrement of garnishes. When guests arrive, I like for them to nibble on some snacks, perhaps some canapés and caviar. 

Entertaining during the holidays is nothing short of magical, and if done right, it can bring back that feeling of being a child full of wonder. Be it with friends or family, a gathering is truly a gift, and there is no better time to invite people into your home than Christmas. It is an opportunity both to celebrate the past and to look forward. Whether you are continuing decades-old traditions or starting new ones, one thing that will never change is the joy a beautiful table brings to homes and their guests. Remember that friendship and family, the true spirit of the season, will linger long after the last bottle has been emptied.